The Golden Years – Oh Really?

Along the lines of the last post about my situation with my far-distant hip replacement; I thought I would jot down a few thoughts on another subject which dominates our minds as we find ourselves unable to do various things at home, in the garden and out in this wide world of ours – Seniors’ Homes or Residences.

It is not all a bed of roses.

I have a very good friend who is resident in a seniors’ home which offers assisted living. On my first visit to see her, I thought I was entering a country mansion. In fact the sooner I could sell my house and move in the better. Oh, it was wonderful; a coffee corner, a shop for things like milk, juice etc, an elegant dining room, plenty of lounge space in which to relax, large windows allowing the sun to light up the building, gardens and garden rooms. What more could I ask – and above all, no more cooking and no more trying to figure out what to cook.

My friend has a spacious apartment with a good view which I think she enjoys, but since I see her regularly, I am beginning to realize the mental cost of all these efficient services and attractive settings for her particularly.

My friend, who is semi-paralyzed, gets care to cover the various things she cannot do and this care amounts to approximately 1.5 hours per day. The care and services are reasonable, but the management and billing practices are totally unreasonable. Fortunately, my friend is still very much in charge of her life and is considerably younger than most of the residents. If she sees what she deems to be an irregularity she will go all out to rectify it, which she did quite recently. But, it was like pulling teeth because staff like to pass the buck, disclaim responsibility, don’t communicate among themselves and provide inadequate management. On top of this, at the back of my friend’s mind was that she might ultimately pay for this issue by alienating the people who look after her. A deterrent for a lesser mortal.

We talked quite a bit about this situation, and both of us felt that it was unfair to a number of residents who were not quite aware of what was going on and therefore are oblivious to any ‘improprieties’. They just go with the flow and pay their bills. Then there are the residents who would like to make a statement, but they are old, they are tired and they lack the will to put up a fight. Many small problems can and are settled but the larger problems can become drawn out sagas and that is when the resident looses heart. Sometimes there are relatives who are only too happy to step in and help, but many times there are not and the resident is on his or her own.

Then there are the subsidized residents who really don’t need to care. They are just happy to have a good roof over their head and plenty of comforts. They are totally unaware of what is going on with management or finance because they don’t have bills to pay at the end of the month.

I am perhaps painting a somewhat gloomy picture, but it is not all bad. Living in a seniors’ home does allow you to live out your life in relative peace without the worry and responsibility of house and home which can be bad enough at times for the elderly. However, for myself, I will stay in my own place for as long as I can possibly manage it – I think.

Before ending and as an aside; a friend of mine asked me the other day how I was going to get up and down the stairs in my house (and there are lots of stairs – all 14 of them) in my current condition of restricted movement. I replied that I will be taking up the luge!